Learning to listen.

Being a parent is the most complex endeavor. It's odd how easily we can come by it, really. There are no qualifications, certifications, levels of education, experience, background checks, applications to fill out or trainings to pass in order to become a parent. Yet, it is the most important job in the universe. Just goes to show, God must be impartial to afford just about anyone the opportunity to have the most important job in His universe. He is an equal opportunity employer.

Here is what I have been thinking about in earnest about parenting. It is so much more about listening than anyone says. Listen with focused interest and get your hand of that child's pulse. Get to know your child's heart. Then pray that for the right words at the right time to touch your child's heart. When you have your child's pulse you can monitor their health and progress.

Each child will need something different. Your job is to understand what that need is and try to fill it. When they are infants it's being able to tell if they are hungry, wet or tired. It starts out simple, thank goodness. Then those choices of needs become more complex and personal to the child. You have to be able to adapt and improvise in order to keep up. Do not be deceived by how big they may get. They will always need something from you until you leave this earth. I have children from ages 7-25. I know my oldest can do his own laundry. What he needs from me is a word or two of counsel now and then, not just any counsel though, the right counsel. Knowing what to say at the right moment takes a great deal of thinking and intuiting on my part. And the moments when I can help are few so I have to get it right on. My 7 year old needs to learn obedience right now. He needs me to say "no" to him quite a bit. But more than that, he needs to know what the "yeses" are so he can get things right and feel good about himself. Then there are the three daughters in between the youngest and the oldest, each with their own set of unique needs.

It is a fun job. I have to say. It keeps me involved with humanity, my own and at large. It keeps me in touch with the workings of a human soul. As I learn each day to listen more carefully and deeply I am finding a wellspring of understanding, even wisdom, in my own soul.
Speaking becomes more meaningful and natural. First, just listen.